Friday, December 14, 2007

And so it begins...

The movers come today, dropping off the shipping cubes that will eventually contain my entire existence in this place: the accumulated memories and material goods that we have gathered in over the past 12 years, 9 months and 5 days. It amazing to me just how relative time really is. I swear that just yesterday it was Thanksgiving. How did 3 weeks pass without me noticing? Oh, that's right - I've been packing!

But God is in the details! All of the loose ends have been neatly tied in a bow. All that is left is the leaving. And that will come even more quickly!

So - this is my last post from California. By the time I come back to this space, I will be in my new home overlooking a lake. I will be surrounded by my family - both my birth/marriage family and the folks in our new church home. And although, over time details of this place may fade - the people I am holding dearly in my heart never will. I hope we have left a memory of us here, too.

Shalom and Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Expectations

'tis the season of Advent. Each year nearly everyone who breathes celebrates this time of anticipation whether they know it or not. Pregnant women certainly understand the combination of excitement and fear that leads up to the final moments before birth. Little children can hardly contain themselves and enter into a game of hide 'n' seek with the packages they see mommy bring home. Of course, some children wonder if there will be anything at all this year. School children wait for the "winter holiday" to come and we all wish for a White Christmas - amazingly even those who live in places where it never snows at all!

This year "advent" seems a bit more, hmmmm, real. I am the one waiting for the launch of a new journey - a new life. It's not an abstract concept. Oh, I've been following and preparing and listening for some time now but the actual process of putting one foot in front of the other and knowing that I will never return to this life again is filled with excitement, fear, a little dread, great joy, anxiety... you name it, I'm feeling it.

With a deep sigh, a look of determination on my face, and a quick squaring of my shoulders, I rise this day in full anticipation of what it to come. I am daunted by the work left to do in order launch, but I am in "countdown mode" now - there is no turning back. I accept and allow this journey to unfold in all of its mystery.

So be it!